Words Matter | Words that Spark Change

The words we choose can either build trust and collaboration or shut down dialogue. A recent paper published in Mayo Clinic Proceedings caught my eye because it highlights the power of language—and the harm of certain “never-words.”

This research focuses on serious illness discussions, but the same principles apply to nutrition counseling. Patients often come into conversations with fear, shame, or frustration, and our word choices can either help them feel empowered to change or defeated before they start. I want to be the type of provider who empowers and builds up their patient ...and I know you do too!

These phrases can make patients feel hopeless, judged, or powerless in their health journey:

🚫 "There’s nothing else we can do."

🚫 "You will not get better."

🚫 "You should have come in sooner."

🚫 "What were your other doctors thinking?"

🚫 "Let's not worry about that now."

Phrases like “You failed your diet” place blame on the patient when, in reality, diets fail people, not the other way around. Likewise, saying “You need to lose weight” might seem like a simple fact, but it doesn’t acknowledge the complexity of behavior change or invite collaboration. Most people already know they should lose weight. They don't need us to tell them that. They need us to help them figure out HOW to do it. 

Here's a list of more effective things to say because our goal should always be to build trust, not barriers. 

✅ Shift from prescriptive to collaborative. Instead of “You need to lose weight,” try:
➡️ "Let’s talk about small steps that could help you feel better and improve your health."

✅ Reframe failure. Instead of “You failed your diet,” try:
➡️ "That approach wasn’t working for you. Let’s figure out what does."

✅ Be curious. Instead of “You need to eat breakfast.” try:
➡️ "What is making this hard for you?"

✅ Acknowledge emotions. Instead of “Cut out all sugar,” try:
➡️ "Reducing added sugar can make a big difference—what are some things that feel manageable for you?"

Compassionate communication isn’t about sugarcoating hard truths—it’s about delivering them in a way that patients can hear, process, and act on. By avoiding conversation stoppers and inviting patients into the process, we empower them to make real, lasting changes.

To learn more specifics about helping our patients change and using effective words, check out these episodes:

Episode 68 | The Right Way to Talk Weight

Episode 67 | Is Your Patient Noncompliant or Just Struggling?